Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
