And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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