why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize