We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
