I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
