At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
