You work out of a Hotel?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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