I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize