love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
