I'm really into asian looking animals
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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