yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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