this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
