When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
