dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't deserve a penis
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need a beard to bite.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
