He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize