PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
