I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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