Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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