3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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