You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
