I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sex in a hospital.. check
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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