When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
