so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
