I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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