God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize