I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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