Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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