It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
