How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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