thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
