I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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