Your face is a jimmy john
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
