I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
