arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am naked and annoyed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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