kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize