Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
