If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
