You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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