Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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