Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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