that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
