Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize