smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
