ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
