I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
