just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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