My friends, they love my intelligence
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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