i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
