I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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