found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
