Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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