I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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