Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
