yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
