DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
