I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
