Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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