i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize