i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
