Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
