we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize