thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this will be a night to untag.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
