It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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