is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
