why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
