All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My ATM looks so different sober.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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