youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
too bad you live with your parents still
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
