all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
